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Small talk is polite conversation on trivial matters that generally doesn’t involve much controversy. It is an unnecessary conversation that tends to fill a situation that seems uncomfortable. These are things that do not matter, especially between people who do not know each other well. It revolves around topics like sports, weather, current jobs, the latest gossip, or where a person lives. It sometimes backfires on social awkwardness and feelings of loneliness. Small talk helps build the confidence of others so that they can start conversations, develop their social skills, and make connections.

Small talk is not just knowing what to say, but also what not to say (what to keep private). There are things that, when involved in small talk, make you or the person you are chatting with uncomfortable. Some of the things that make small talk essential include;

Financial. Asking the people you are meeting for the first time about financial matters is quite inappropriate. While it is good to ask someone what they do for a living or the positive aspects of their career, it is not appropriate to ask them about salary. Some people will find such an intrusive and inappropriate question.

Religion. It’s another sensitive and personal question to ask someone you’re meeting for the first time. Some may not like it if asked what religion they belong to as they may think you are on the opposite side so they may take it as a question of discrimination. It is also vital to know that some people do not belong to any religion, so such a question can be insulting. Questions about religion should be avoided during small talk.

Politics. Another area to avoid is that of politics. The problem is, you may not know who in the crowd has strong opinions. Avoid political questions unless you are prepared for a heated debate.

Sex. Asking intimate questions or talking about sex during small talk is very inappropriate. When talking to strangers, stop making sexual advances or talking openly about sex. These questions tend to make other people uncomfortable.

Death. Another worse topic to avoid during a small talk. When in the company of strangers, don’t come up with emotionally-provoking or potentially upsetting topics. Some in the group may have lost someone close to them, and when reminded they may end up excited.

Appearance / age. DDon’t ask someone about age and appearance unless you know the person well. It may seem quite similar to you, but it is a hot topic for someone else. You are talking to a strange woman and you are asking her if she is pregnant or why she looks so thin or fat. You may not know the reason for the pregnancy, the thinness or the fat, and this could leave you and her in an uncomfortable situation.

Offensive jokes. You hardly know someone, you just met and started the silly jokes you make with your best friends. Some people don’t like jokes. To be specific, avoid racist and sexist jokes as they are offensive and can end your conversation quickly.

Personal gossip. You can gossip about celebrities during a little chat, but avoid gossiping about people you know personally. Gossiping about other people makes you sick. On the other hand, you never know who you may meet. Stop badmouthing!

Past relationships. On the first date, avoid talking about past relationships. Some people’s past can be painful, while others may not like it when you tell them that your ex used to do nice things to you. Talking too much about a past love or making comparisons is a detour and a quick way to avoid going on a second date.

Narrow themes. Don’t talk too much about one-sided issues. Be vigilant and watch for the signs that they have lost interest and find a way to end it quickly. It is boring, for example, to go into too much detail in a movie, when some people have not seen it.

Those are some of the many things to avoid in small talk. They are essential and can quickly end up in conversations. However, don’t be afraid of small talk. You must learn to overcome the fear of small talk. Below is a list of things that can make small talk handle:

  • Entertainment and Arts – Arts and entertainment topics are good conversation starters. They can include; books, movies and TV shows, music, etc.

  • The weather: as mundane as it may sound, it is a general topic that everyone can discuss. Practice a little talk about the weather, or else you will find yourself in the middle of a difficult silence with nothing to start with.

  • News: Reading the news and staying up-to-date on current affairs is the best way to prepare for the little talk. Be aware of the trends in your country or city.

  • Family – You will likely be asked about your family. Be prepared to answer these questions and to ask yourself too. This will help you get to know a person in a short time.

  • Celebrity Gossip: It’s good to know a little about some popular celebrities in case the topic comes up. But unless everyone is talking about the celebrity, avoid being the initiator of such conversations.

  • Hobbies: If you don’t have a hobby, consider having one as people like to talk about their hobby and may be interested in getting to know yours as well. Not only will it give you something to talk about, but it will also meet other people with similar interests as yours.

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