We’ve been engaged for quite some time now, I’m beginning to wonder if she’ll ever marry me.

Often when a woman tries so hard to get a man to propose to her, she thinks that getting engaged is really the end goal. She thinks that once he puts that ring on her finger, she has won.

But sometimes, even after the ring arrives, that trip down the aisle doesn’t come in the orderly and quick manner you’d hoped. Sometimes you find yourself engaged for months or even years with no wedding date in sight.

A woman might say, “Honestly, it took me years to get my fiancé to propose. He knew this was what I wanted and never questioned his love for me. But it took a long time for him to finally propose.” And I admit that I think what finally got him to buy that ring and get down on one knee was that I was constantly pestering him and pressuring him about it. I thought everything was clean. Though I guess he was wrong. Because we have been dating for more than a year and a half. I buy bridal magazines. I have tried to get my fiancé to go see churches and wedding venues. He always finds an excuse not to participate. When I ask him about any questions, he says that we are not yet financially secure. I’m beginning to doubt that this is the real reason. I am beginning to wonder if he will ever marry me. He maybe he got engaged to me. just to keep from bothering him. But it was just a losing tactic.”

I’ve been getting a lot of these types of emails lately. It seems that it has become socially acceptable or even preferable to have long engagements, some of which never make it to the altar. The thought behind this is what’s the rush when you can take your time and avoid mistakes?

And this can be fine if this is what both people want. But when a person accepts the engagement with the expectation that a wedding will soon follow, then this can become very disappointing. You may start to wonder if he was being completely honest with you when he gave you the ring. Sure, you want to commit. But for you, engagement was the first step on the road to marriage, which is what you really want.

I think you have every right to speak openly about this. However, I think you have to be careful. Because you’re so close to getting what you want. You waited so long and worked so hard for your engagement and now you don’t want to risk it.

So I suggest you lightly ask him about his time frame without sounding like you’re putting too much pressure on him. You could try something like, “I’d like to talk to you about the time frame for our wedding. I know you’re not looking at an immediate time frame, but I’d like to get a better idea of ​​when we’re talking. You know how important this is to me.” And sometimes I worry that I’m wasting my time doing all this planning when we haven’t set a date.”

Then just listen to what he has to say. He may give you a date or put you off again. Now, you need to be observant. If he hesitates or you see him tense, then you should ask yourself why. You can tell her that you notice her hesitation and tension, and then you can ask her to share what’s on her mind.

Sometimes you may have reservations that are easily arranged. And other times, you may have felt that you rushed the engagement, so now it’s going at a very slow pace. If this is the case, then you don’t want to push it the same way. Because the last thing you want is for him to “give up” and set a wedding date and then not show up or have to cancel the wedding.

Instead, you want the peace of mind that he is there happy and willing because marrying you is exactly what he wants. I think it’s entirely possible to get to this place, even with a reluctant fiancé. But you have to be open and honest. And you have to create the relationship that he wants to take to the next level. Because sometimes he can feel that you care more about the wedding than the relationship.