“For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of a sound mind.”
2 Timothy 1:7
You have dreams of success, romance, and victory, but many of your dreams will never materialize. The reason: that little voice of doubt inside your own head.
Most people will never make a single attempt towards their goals. They are their own worst enemy. Here are 13 strategies to help you defeat your inner enemy and increase your ability to achieve the life you’ve always dreamed of living.
1. Be willing to go on strike. A beginner has to start somewhere. I think we quickly forget that home run king Hank Aaron struck out twice for every home run he hit. We often look at superstars and lose sight of his flaws and mistakes.
2. Don’t dwell on past mistakes. Everybody makes mistakes. If you keep beating yourself up for what you’ve done, you’ll never get ahead in life. Allow yourself to process your mistakes. What have you learned? What can you do differently next time? How can you turn this setback into a positive and then move on to your next attempt? only wiser this time?
3. Are you listening to the wrong shoulder? I am often reminded of the old cartoons where you see an angel sitting on a person’s right shoulder and a devil on the person’s left shoulder. Both were trying to influence the person. The question then becomes, which shoulder is the person listening to? You have options. Are you going to make positive or negative decisions? You will never defeat your inner enemy if you listen to the negative shoulder.
4. Make up stories that are not true. I like to use my imagination and stubbornness to my advantage. I do it by making up stories that aren’t true but if they were, it would motivate me. I will give you some examples. Suppose someone offers you $10 million if you could fix your life. Could you do it? Absolutely; and most of the night if necessary. Another example. Suppose you have problems with your teenager or with your spouse. Imagine that an angel has told you that this person you love is going to die in the near future. Could you be a better spouse or parent? One more time; YEAH!
5. Do it for someone else. I often hear concerned family members tell the person they love who has a substance abuse problem, “Don’t change for us. You have to want to change for yourself.” I understand your reasoning, but I think putting the needs of others first can be a great motivator. I love stories about the person who quit smoking after 30 years because his granddaughter just asked him to.
6. The Need for Reinforcement. Winning the fight against your inner enemy is an ongoing battle. Negative people say, “Well, I tried that self-improvement thing once and it didn’t work for me.” You can’t be positive once or just for a short time and expect a lot to change. This responsibility is similar to bathing and brushing teeth. It is part of your daily routine. Make positive thoughts, words, and actions a part of your daily life.
7. Look good. A quick method to build your confidence is to pay attention to looking your best. Update your clothes and hairstyle. If you don’t know how; ask someone for help, but at least make sure they have better style than you. Looking good on the outside helps you feel better on the inside.
8. Speak with authority. Use your voice to earn respect. Speak in a relaxed, well modulated but firm tone of voice. You want to convey that you have balanced confidence.
9. Kill the voice of procrastination. Every time you start working on improving yourself, you will notice a voice in your head (the enemy within) telling you to “roll over and go back to sleep”; “take the easy path”; that you really “can’t achieve your goals anyway”. When you notice these words of doubt and discouragement, you should tell the voice “Shut up!” If the correct answer is to get up so you can pray, exercise or write that book you’ve always wanted to write then you should do it now. You must ignore the voice of procrastination and get up immediately. Don’t ever hit the snooze button again. Take strong action or the voice will eventually win and you will lose. This is how we end up fat and out of shape, dumb and uneducated.
10. Stop filling your mind with junk. Are you wasting time with too much television? Too many puzzles? And too much gossip? Activities like these should be done at a minimum and gossip should not occur at all. Stay focused on the things you want. If you want to be confident, fill your mind with thoughts of success and personal growth.
11. Beware of critics. Worry about what others think, but don’t be paralyzed by it. As long as you start making positive changes; someone will always have something to say. Friends and family will tell you that your goal is “crazy,” “unachievable,” “silly,” or similar statements. These comments foster your own sense of fear and doubt. Usually all it takes is one discouraging comment to derail most people. Don’t let this happen to you.
12. Stop comparing yourself to others. The comparison is a trap. Sometimes you will get ahead of others and sometimes you won’t. Someone else will eventually be better, faster, or stronger. It is best to avoid this impasse entirely and just strive to be and do your best. This way you only have to compete with yourself and not with the whole planet.