In general, it is good for parents to be ambitious with their children. However, there is a vicarious form of ambition, in which parents seek to live out their childhood dreams through their children. I’m thinking of the father who gives his one-year-old son a soccer ball, so he can feel the “old pigskin” on his way to on-field greatness. Or the mother who dreamed of becoming a movie star, who prepares her daughter, at an early age, to participate in beauty pageants. As parents, we must work hard to help our children fulfill their own dreams. That said, though, most parenting ambition is useful and healthy.
In the twentieth chapter of Matthew, and verses twenty through twenty-eight; Salome, the wife of Zebedee and the mother of James and John, approaches Jesus with an ambitious request. “Make one of my sons sit on your right and the other on your left in your kingdom.” I smile when I read that the other ten disciples were “outraged”. Mama Zebedee had gone ahead of them by asking her children what they wanted for them, but they were too shy to ask.
Salome was not happy that her sons were successful in the family fishing business and making good money at the fish market. First of all, she wanted them to stand out as disciples of Jesus. Her ambitions had a spiritual dimension that is often missing.
In that sense, I want to stand up and praise my own mother. Sure, she wanted me to get a good education, establish a stable home, and become a respected member of the community. She also wanted me to support my children, which she couldn’t provide for me. But more than anything, she wanted me to become a genuinely good person, with honesty and integrity, who had a quality relationship with God. It was the quality of my character that was most important to her. I am grateful that there was a different spiritual aspect to her ambitions for me. What I am today is largely a reflection of that.
Going back to Momma Z, she believed in her children unconditionally. She believed that nothing was too good for them, even to be second and third in command, in the realm of God. No wonder they believed in themselves. When Jesus asked them, “Can you drink from the cup that I am going to drink?” They replied, “We can” (Matthew 20:22).
They did not realize how bitter that cup would be, or how often they would fail to take up their crosses and follow Jesus. Still, they had a mother who never stopped believing; More importantly, they had a Savior who believed in them. That is a winning combination.
Parents, don’t forget to keep a spiritual dimension to your hopes and dreams for your children.