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Sometimes I hear from wives who have found out that their husband has had an emotional affair. Most of the time, the husband will insist that nothing physical and inappropriate happened. He may even tell you that he is not attracted to this other woman.

But of course wives have their doubts about it. Many wives worry that an emotional affair is actually the precursor to a physical affair.

A wife might ask, “Does my husband having an emotional affair with a coworker mean he is in love with her? I saw an email between them that made me uncomfortable, so I went through all the emails between them. Obviously it was an emotional matter. There is no indication that they ever got together physically or outside of work. But they clearly depend on each other emotionally and are told about their families, their marriages, and their hopes and dreams. There are a few things. very personal in these emails. When I confronted my husband, he said they were just good friends. I insisted it was more than that. And then I quoted some of the emails and my husband turned bright red. I was clearly embarrassed and embarrassed, and I finally got him to admit that this was essentially an emotional and inappropriate matter. So my husband was in love with the other woman and if he wanted something plus. His answer was that no, he ju St enjoyed their friendship and that he is not even remotely attracted to her. I looked it up on the internet and frankly it’s not even that pretty. So I want to believe my husband. But it’s difficult. Why would you put all this time and effort into the relationship if it’s just going to be a friendship? “

I understand your preocupation. I agree with you. If a man meets his needs with another person, even if they are not physical or sexual needs, it will damage his marriage. And if these needs are met in secret, it erodes trust.

I am by no means an expert. I can only tell you what I see and hear based on correspondence and research. Many adventures begin as emotional bonds. The two people don’t intend to cheat, but they get closer and closer until there comes a point where they have the opportunity or desire to take it even further. Of course, this does not always happen, but even once it is too much.

Understand the difference between the right and the wrong employment relationship: I cannot tell you that there are no emotional issues that remain strictly emotional in nature. Exist. Sometimes, as time goes on, one or both of them realize that they really are not compatible. Or the relationship eventually stops providing the emotional reward. These relationships will usually end naturally and will not progress.

And it is possible that two co-workers of the opposite sex are simply friends. I have had male mentors in the past. And there was absolutely nothing inappropriate in these relationships. In today’s workplace, people must work closely to do a good job. But sometimes it is obvious when this crosses the line. And the fact that your husband was embarrassed by the emails could be a sign that he has definitely crossed the line. If your spouse cannot hear phone calls or read emails between you and your co-workers, then this is a red flag.

Here’s another thing to consider. Sometimes people who have had physical affairs fully admit that the “other person” is not their type. They will admit that the other person is not as attractive as their spouse, but that it was not the physical attraction that attracted them to the other person, it was something else.

People sometimes report a connection that is not just about sex. Or they will tell you that they felt understood and appreciated by the other person. The truth is that people cheat for both emotional and physical reasons. So just because he’s not wildly attracted to the other woman doesn’t always mean there won’t be a physical relationship in the future.

Safeguarding your marriage: So how do you make sure this relationship doesn’t become physical? You work on your marriage and try to make sure your husband feels connected to you. And try to make sure they understand what is inappropriate about the relationship and why.

This is not always possible, but it is ideal if your husband can work in another department or with someone else so that they are not always required to be together. If this is not possible, try to meet your husband for lunch and visit him from time to time. Let the other woman see you and know that you are a reality. And encourage your husband to come straight home after work.

Counseling can be very beneficial here too. Everything you can do to make your marriage your preferred place to meet your emotional needs is important. I cannot stress this enough. She cannot control what happens between her husband and the other woman while they are both at work. But you can control what happens between the two of you at home. You can fight for your marriage if that is what you want.

But to answer the original question, an emotional affair does not always mean that your husband is in love with the other woman. But I think most people would agree that it is a very legitimate concern. It is not something to ignore. Because sometimes, it is the precursor to a physical adventure if it doesn’t stop.

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