This week, the Graceful Mistress of the Parsonage made a little slip up. For her it was a small slip, but for me it was a big mistake.
It’s not always that she makes mistakes that I can benefit from. I don’t make this public, especially within her range, but there are times when she makes a mistake, and I’m always on the lookout for those times.
When it comes to me, I’m always making mistakes. I’m not sure I can make a small slip because mine are so much bigger. And the problem with this is that the Graceful Mistress of the parsonage always catches them and sometimes, I don’t know how she does it, she catches them before I catch them.
She calls it a “woman’s intuition,” but I call it a “man’s problem.”
Last week, for example, I had an appointment with my ophthalmologist. I was going to pick up my new glasses, and I was looking forward to it. I told my wife that the doctor’s appointment was on Wednesday. She responded and said, “No, I think it’s Thursday.”
“It’s my date,” I said, both hands on my hips, “and I’ll go whenever I want.”
She looked at me, chuckled, then went back to what she was doing. I think I heard her mutter something like, “She’s 13 again.”
I got to the ophthalmologist’s office, walked in while putting on my mask (I’m not really into these masks), walked up to the counter and checked in. I then went to sit and wait for them to call me.
Within minutes, a nurse came up to me and said, “Mr. Snyder, what are you doing here today?”
“I’m here to pick up my glasses.”
“Sorry, your appointment isn’t until tomorrow.”
I gave her one of my stunned looks and then said, “Could you camp here until tomorrow?”
I had to go home and tell my wife that I was wrong and she was right. If she had a nickel for every time I admitted I was wrong, she would be a very rich person.
But this week, my wife made her mistake and I was able to profit from it.
She came home from shopping at Publix, and I think without even thinking about it, she said as she walked into the kitchen, “The Girl Scouts are selling cookies at Publix today.”
There are a lot of things she says that I can’t hear. I’m not sure if it’s my ears or what. For some reason, I took this phrase from Girl Scout cookies.
I tried to remain silent and calm. I knew that if she aroused any enthusiasm, she would pick up on what she told me. According to her, I am very limited in terms of the cookies I can eat. Her preference would be that I not eat cookies while I have breath in my nostrils.
I remember when he told me: “You can’t eat cookies!”.
I smiled because she didn’t know what she was saying. A double negative is equal to a positive. Most people don’t understand that.
The next step was figuring out how to get out of the house and into Publix without anyone in the house knowing.
I didn’t know how I would do this. I thought about it and tried to come up with the perfect plan.
Then an opportunity opened up that I could never have anticipated.
“I forgot something at Publix,” my wife said, “would you have time to go to Publix and pick this up for me?”
I find it very difficult to master hilarious laughter in circumstances like this. I worked hard and solemnly said, “Oh dear. I can go right now and there is no problem.”
Like magic, I disappeared from the house and started the car before getting in and heading to Publix. All I could think about was those wonderfully delicious Girl Scout cookies. After all, when I buy Girl Scout cookies, I’m helping to support some girls in need. That’s my story, and I’ll stick to it.
Approaching the girls from Publix, I almost forgot what I had come to pick up.
I looked at them and said, “I’ll be back after shopping.”
I always keep my word, and I came back, and since I couldn’t make up my mind which cookies I wanted to buy, I did the chivalrous thing and bought one of every cookie they had for sale. How much it cost has no bearing on my desire for these cookies.
As I put the bag on the kitchen table, my wife looked at it and said, “Those aren’t Girl Scout cookies, are they?”
“Isn’t that what you wanted me to buy?”
She just stared at me, but all I could think about was eating that first cookie.
As I delighted in eating that first cookie, I was reminded of what David said in one of his Psalms: “Delight yourself also in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart” (Psalm 37:4).
As much as I delight in these cookies, my greatest delight is in the Lord. As I delight in the Lord, I enjoy all the delicacies of that relationship.