This morning, while working out at the gym, I overheard a very interesting conversation that reminded me of the very wise old saying that “you’re the average of the 5 people you date.” So, there is a guy at my local gym who is always using a machine for long periods of time, and I see him often on my training days. He saw his “gym partner” approaching from the other end of the room and started a “conversation” with him. He complained about how much he drank the day before, and how he still feels like throwing up and that’s why he’s not doing squats today. He went on and on.
“Gym buddy” then joined in to complain even more about his own current job and life in addition to the man’s drinking escapades yesterday. The man interrupted “Gym buddy” in the middle of the conversation, realizing that he was no longer talking about him and that he was not ready to listen or offer his grain of sand, so he invited him out for a ” smoke break”. . “Gym buddy” told him, “I’m actually trying to quit smoking. I started yesterday.” The man then looked at him with a long incredulous pause that was half filled with true shock, but I can tell he really wanted him to join him for a smoke. So “Gym buddy” made another feeble attempt to convince him once more, but this time in a much weaker tone, and he said again, “I’m serious. I’m really trying to quit.” The man asked “Why?” as if it was a bad decision and a foolishness.
So this man started telling her his own story about how he tried to quit smoking for 4 (short) weeks going through the most horrible withdrawal symptoms and then he started smoking again. Even though there was no real moral or value in his story, he continued to justify and lay out all of his reasons for resigning with great enthusiasm. Then the “gym friend” turned to ask, “So what happened?” He simply told her, “Nothing. I just went back to square one.” “Gym buddy” paused for a fraction of a second and then said, “Fuck it, let’s go.” And both began to argue about the brand of cigarettes they smoke and suggested sharing and dividing it up.
In less than 2 minutes of sharing his experience of how he tried to quit smoking and failed (in just 4 weeks), he influenced and convinced another person to give up their goal and intention in less than 24 hours. The scary thing is that he was just an acquaintance who probably met once a month at the gym. There was a period of time where I really preferred my custom workouts from home just to not leave any opportunity to come into contact with any energy that was negative. I became a “vibrational snob”.
I remember when I started my outdoor runs (and by that I mean my short sprints) strangers would look at me funny as if I had lost my temper. Some even came up to me and told me to slow down. “Don’t run so fast.” Maybe it came with good intentions, but sometimes, the people who offer you the most “opinions and advice” are the ones who aren’t anywhere near happy, healthy, or abundant—they aren’t even offering their two cents. They are usually the ones who are out of shape, emotionally and mentally bankrupt. Can you imagine if that person was a friend or even a family member, which is often the case, who is constantly talking you out of change? The good exchange rate? Is there someone in your life that prevents you from becoming the best version of yourself?